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FemDom in times of COVID-19

Published by TheMistressArts on

It was painful to substitute my Netherlands Tour Announcement by a pandemic announcement on my home page today, making it official that the suspension of in-person sessions were real. I haven’t done any since I already in the Netherlands a few weeks ago, but I think it haven’t been fully able to mentally process what has been going on.

The decision to come to Amsterdam itself was one of the hardest I had to take – possibly in my whole life. And, I must add I have made some really hard decisions, despite my age.

I was already in a 2 week isolation when I decided to change my flight day to 48h later, instead waiting another week. The airports were starting to close, I had a rented places which the owner would go back to in a few weeks (counting on me leaving it), and I had not many options to choose from. Most of them, very bad.

In the other side, lovely people smiled to me through the phone camera, inviting me to occupy a lovely spacious room in their apartment in Amsterdam. “What about the corona situation, and airports, wouldn’t you mind?”. “No, not at all. Life must go on… You can enter today if you wish, it’s empty.” they said, with a unsuspicious (or resilient) smile on their faces.

I took an entire day thinking and overthinking what I should do. Making calculations, financial aspects, professional aspects, personal aspects. Meditating. A lot. Overthinking. Meditating a bit more. Finally deciding to try to sleep. And after a long night, full of nightmares, I woke knowing what to do.

I had 48 hours to move to a different country. For the forth time in the last 10 months. How does it feel? Exhausting. Deciding what to take and what to leave behind. To sterilize everything and separate from what was supposed to get all dirty and potentially contaminated in the airport. To wash the blankets, the sheets, the clothes I was taking – in the machine 3 blocks and 5-floor-stairs away. To find achool gel, gloves, masks for the travel. To notify my landlord I was leaving earlier than expected. Notifying the new landlord I was arriving before than expected. Everything. On my own.

Arriving in Amsterdam, tears took over me while still in the plane. How cliche is that, right? But real, though. Way too real. The city embraced me like I was have been here. From the airport we drove straight home, and since then, I have only been in my new neighborhood. I haven’t seen the beautiful Amsterdam yet. Or its bars. Or coffee shops. Or the magical Red Light District. And still, its green areas, lovable architecture, agile people and inclusive environment got me falling in love for this place, already.

And in between buying food, getting in lines in the supermarket, re-activating my knowledge from my German classes from 10 years ago to try to understand a little bit of Dutch, deep cleaning the new house and unpacking my whole life and a million other stuff, I didn’t really had the time (or energy) to process the effects of this in my life and career as a Dominatrix.

I came from so so far away… I faced so much shit to come from an amateur Domme in Brazil into a full-formed Dominatrix in here. I was still ‘recovering’ from having to delete all my accounts last year to avoid borders’s problems (which were a real problem back then even for European traveler Dominas), finding My way into this new scene… This was supposed be My time to shine professionally, to blossom, to get to live what I came here to live. The completion of a project that has been taking years of my life. Of my youth… Then a pandemic comes. And takes it all away. Without even touching me.

And today – and only today – I understood that this is nothing. All these projects, all this desires, all this cravings for realization I’ve been fighting for my whole life… It’s nothing. This is nothing compared to my life, to the lives of others. Fuck my career. Fuck my long-term projects. This is not about me. Death is the ultimate Dominatrix. Life is the ultimate Goddess. And they are the same, in different stages. This primal force we have no control over, and who detains absolute control of us all. We are all Her bitches. Even you. Even me. No exceptions. And the soon we understand that, the better.

Some will find a bit more of peace in prayers. Others, in self care. Others in hobbies. Or in masturbating ferociously. Each of us will cope according to our tendencies and resources. I don’t judge. What’s not an option anymore is denial.

Placing the Covid warning in my pages were my ultimate act of loose of control. Of letting go. I’m not letting go on only in-person FemDom sessions (and the whole universe it means to me). I’m letting go my own sense of control. I think you can imagine what it means for a trained Domina to do that…

When my new love, Amsterdam, comes back to its colors and sounds, if Goddess Life allows me, I’ll be here to witness it’s way into blossoming back into life. That comforts me. I won’t be here to witness what it was pre-pandemic. But I’ll be in the front-line, ready to help, when the time comes to rebuild it.

And the same will happen to us. We won’t be the same. I won’t be the same. You won’t be the same. Female Domination will have a whole different meaning that right now we can’t even imagine what it will look like. BDSM will have a whole other meaning. Money will have another meaning. Human touch will have another meaning.

I hope all of this makes sense to you. If not now, maybe one day.

In the meantime, the Online realm is here, and it can be used as a comfort in this difficult times. I know it has been to me. A surprise delight in between the chaos, to receive my daily Chastity check-ins from my locked slaves. And my sissy pics from my girls. Or the thrill of the last Team-viewer take over (Gosh, that was intense!). I know “it is not the same”. Of course it is not. Nothing is or will be from now on. So I invite you to give the online a little chance. If not with me, with another practitioner you trust.

I wish us all a wise and quick quarantine.


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